I grew up dyslexic, finding it hard to put letters together to form words. It shaped my life in so many ways. I have a beautiful mother who knows everything, so she figured it out early. At that time, the Indian education system didn’t have a lot of awareness about such things.
She saved me, she made me. She taught me that I must work harder than everyone else just to be able to do as much as them. That’s who I am, I’m the ant.
I got through school, sometimes doing well, sometimes not so much. Life was good. Life has been good, I’m blessed. My parents shipped me off to Canada at the age of 17, my father wanted me to have the best education and I did. My struggles in Canada are for another post – too much ground to cover.
Fastforward 7 years, I’m sitting in a Cafe in hometown writing this post, New Delhi. Father and I, have started a Supply Chain company. Work is slow, building a business is so much harder than it seems in Business school. Which is why, real entrepreneurs usually drop out and make things happen while we study their lives in HBS cases.
But the more I think, the more I realize, am I doing the things I want? I feel empty inside sometimes. I had so many creative pursuits through school and college and I’ve left most of them behind. It’s left a gapping whole in my life.
Being an ant, trying to get ahead in this game of life. I worked on getting myself an education, a job, some money, long lasting friendships, a Fiancé. I invested in all of this, but I forgot to invest in “myself”. Who am I? Who is Anyushka? What does she do for person growth, personal happiness, creative expression and thought? I think I’ve lost the little girl my warrior mother saved.
So its a decision. No it’s a promise, I’ll change things, I’ll express myself, I’ll try to find my creative self.